Weekend Trip to Michigan

With the busy-ness of fall, we haven't made it back up to Michigan since September, when John passed away. {See this post for background info.} We have desperately struggled with wanting to help Kim and the kids, yet being 3 hours away has inhibited those efforts. So we have faithfully prayed. Every day. Often throughout each day. And night. And while I completely believe in the power of prayer, sometimes I just want to DO. You know, tangible stuff. Cook. Bake. Clean. {Okay, I never have the desire to clean but you get my drift.}

So this weekend we were able to tangibly help in just the simple ways. It felt good to take care of Malia. Jack played ball with Landon and rough-housed with Gavin. Just helping in the care of children felt really, really good. It honestly wasn't much help, but we're hopeful that just a little bit of help was of some small encouragement to Kim.

In watching Malia, I brought the camera along and got some great pics. Enjoy. These two are little buds ... and have been since they first met.

They giggled and laughed and chased ... for hours. I kept wishing we had the video camera along to capture their giggles. Contagious. Carefree.





At one point, I overheard Jackson asking Malia where her daddy was? I quickly tried to divert him, which lasted for a few minutes, but as we were leaving he asked again, and kept asking until I finally had to address his question. So tough. I knelt down to his level and this is how our conversation went:

Jackson: "Where's Malia's daddy?"

Me: "Well, Malia's daddy is in heaven."

Jackson: "Why? Where's Malia's daddy?"

Me: "Well, he died, Jackson, so now he's with Jesus in heaven."

Jackson: "He died. Why?"

Me: "Well, he was sick so he died and went to heaven."

Jackson: "I liked Malia's daddy."

Me: "We did too, Jackson."

Jackson: "Did he die on the cross?" {He knows that Jesus died on the cross and now is in heaven, so since this is the first person he has known that has died, I think his little brain is thinking if you die, it must be on a cross.}

Me: "No, hunny. He didn't die on the cross. He just died and went to heaven."

Ahhh, this conversation couldn't end quick enough. To try to explain death to a three-year-old is so hard. Several days this past week {since coming back to Chicago}, he has continued to ask about Malia's daddy. Wondering why he had to die. How he died. Where he is. Will he come back.

And each time Jackson asks, I think how hard it must be for Kim when Malia asks those same type of three-year-old questions. Gut-wrenchingly hard for her.

If you think of it, would you please continue to pray for Kim, Landon, Gavin, and Malia? They need our prayers and while most of us can't tangibly help, we can certainly pray. And I believe that those prayers are what will carry Kim through the long nights and tiring days.

Hang on to Jesus, Sweet Malia. Hang on and HE will never let you down. NEVER.

Surprise Kansas City Road Trip

Yes, it WAS amazing. God spared no expense when He brushed the sky with pinks and oranges and yellows last Friday night. It took my breath away!

Michelle called early Friday morning and said look outside your front door. And there, on my steps, was a Diet Coke, just callin' my name. And then, Denise walked around in front of the bushes. SURPRISE!

I'm the youngest of the three of us. {I'll forever remind them of this.} So two years ago, Michelle and I surprised Denise and took her away to Door County for her 40th birthday weekend. And then last year, Denise and I suprised Michelle and took her to Holland, Michigan for the weekend. So this year was my turn. And they did it up right.

The three of us have been on dozens of road trips {and no, I'm not exaggerating} together over the two-plus decades of friendship. We've done the roll-over in a van and go to the emergency room together road trip. And we've done countless mid-west road trips together. And we've done Canada and Tennessee and a little bit of everything else in between. So this next shot captures the essence of our trips. Sun in our faces. Laughter fills the car. Music is loud and beautiful and fun.

Hello, Missouri. Good-bye, Illinois!

Our destination was a surprise, until Michelle, while talking on the phone with her dad, said, "We're taking Alysa to Kansas City for a surprise weekend." To which I quietly said to Denise, "I heard that!" So the cat was out of the bag but it didn't take one thing away from the surprise weekend!

How appropriate that this next picture was in a McDonald's, where we stopped for none other than a nice big Diet Coke. Sums it up, does it not?
Random pics from our trip - Union Station in Kansas City ... beautiful. We went to a chocolate exhibit. Mainly for the samples. Nice.







We ate breakfast at a local diner in Union Station and I fell in love with these stools. Not sure why. Just a quirk I guess.

This next one is my favorite 'building' picture.


I had no idea that Kansas City is known for its barbeque, so Friday night we arrived and ate at Jack Stack, the best, according to the locals. And I'll say, it was quite delish. Another Diet Coke.
Saturday night we went to a dinner theatre and saw the one, the only, Greg Brady, in action. I had NO idea that he was that old. Wow. The play was "Church Basement Ladies 2" and it was fantastic.

Our hotel room was beautiful.


Most every road trip involves some sort of new matching pj's. Why? Just because.
They thought of everything. All the little details. Gift after gift after gift. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been so pampered. I think I could get used to that. All in all. Terrific weekend. Beautiful weather. Beautiful friends. Celebrating my birthday AGAIN. Perfect!

Maryam's Fifth Birthday

Since practically the first month Hiyam arrived in Chicago, {last November, 2008} she has been excited about Maryam's 5th birthday ... in October, 2009. She was excited to make a party for Mimi's birthday.
So the day arrived and we were invited for the celebration. Hiyam was precious. Months ago, Mimi wanted a scooter, so Hiyam carefully tucked away a little money each month, to be able to buy her a scooter. I was so proud of her for doing that. Mother-daughter love transcends miles and cultures and time. We'll do anything for our kids. Anything.

The bond that Hiyam and Maryam have is simply beautiful to watch. Look at Maryam's eyes in the picture below, looking up at her mother. Her brave, couragous, never-giving-up, will do anything for her daughter, tender-hearted mother. She wins mother-of-the-decade in my book. Hands-down.

Apparently they cut the cake at birthdays, like we in America cut the cake at a wedding. We continue to love learning more about their culture.

It is hard to believe the changes in "Mimi" in just 11 months. When she first arrived she didn't know one word of English. She was shy and reserved. When you looked into her eyes you could see sadness a mile deep.

But as we know, children are resilient and to see her now is to see transformation before our very eyes. She speaks fantastic English, even fluently playing in English. When we're with her, she is happy and joy-filled. She absolutely ADORES her Amu -Uncle- Jack. And Jackson is her very best friend in all the world.

She is such an easy, delightful child. The past two Saturdays we have taken her for the entire day, since Hiyam has hair-cutting practice. And I tell you what, she is just easy. I mean, I've never met a child that is so easy. And she and Jackson play amazingly well together. Just little buddies. They love each other 'too much' to quote Hiyam! Jack and I still laugh out loud when we think of the time that Hiyam said, in all seriousness, "Jackson and Maryam should be lovers some day." {We think she really meant they should get married some day.}

So to Mimi we say, "HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY!" We love her 'too much' and look forward to decades more of doing life together.

As an aside, this coming Thursday, November 12th, is our "Gotcha" Day for Hiyam and Maryam. One year ago they arrived at O'Hare and we began this journey together. Two cultures. Two families. Two lives merged forever.

What a rich blessing they are to us. I cannot believe they have been here a year. They are truly precious to us!

Autumn Fun

Little secret. I love raking leaves. In fact, if left to my own devices, I might even volunteer to do our entire street. Therapeutic. Crisp air. I love when my face feels chilly but the rest of me isn't. That total feeling of accomplishment because when you start, leaves are everywhere. But when you finish, the green grass is bare. I love that.

3:15pm. First one minute was fabulous. Followed by 10 minutes of, well, you guess. Maddie had two time-outs within about 3 minutes of beginning the 'playing in the leaves' adventure. Jackson didn't understand that she had dibs on her own pile so he began to play in hers. Which led her to swinging her rake at him. WHAT? How old are you? What would ever cause you to think that is appropriate? Oh mercy. I almost called it off. As in, no more leaf fun today kiddos.

But, once we got over that near miss, we had a great time. Following picture taken POST almost-near-blunt-force-trauma-to-the-head-incident. I love that Maddie is a little project gal. And I mean, she stays on task and is FOCUSED when there is a project to be done. She's a hard worker and didn't want to quit, even after an hour of working. {And other than about a ten minute stop to jump in the leaves for picture opportunities, she raked the entire time.} So that was a good reminder. Sometimes I think she's just bored. Which translates into purposeful aggravation of her younger brother, which leads into frustration of mama. So note to self: find her some projects to do. And fast.
And Jackson. Well, he just wanted to play and jump and do somersaults and dive into the leaves. He loved it. So fun to watch. A reminder of the fact that kids really don't need plastic crap from China. The great outdoors does just fine. {Although I must interject that Jackson was thoroughly frustrated because he couldn't get the leaves to stay on his little shovel while he tried to hoist them above his head to get them into the huge garbage bin. Frustrated little guy. He just wanted it to work and couldn't quite do it. So there was whine-ing mixed in with joyful jumping.}He totally cheesed it up for pictures. Very fun.

All in all, a great autumn afternoon.

Beautiful Post

You've heard me talk, plenty of times, about my college friend Alice. We met the first day of college.

And a few weeks ago we celebrated our 40th birthdays, just a few months late (we're both June babes.) But that's just the way we like it, because we're both of the persuasion that birthdays, especially big ones like 40, should be celebrated for long periods of time post-actual-birth-date. We talked for hours, catching up on life. I so love the familiarity, comfortability and history of a 22-year friendship.

Nothing I can say today can compare to this amazing post from my dear friend, Alice. Please go read it. You'll be moved. I guarantee that Alice will be a famous author one day. And I do believe this piece will be somewhere in the midst of that first book.

Halloween Day

Maddie was sick on Friday, so she didn't get to go to school to have her little party. That made me so sad when we broke the news to her that she needed to stay home. She cried those big crocodile tears. And there was this part of me, deep down, that so wanted her to be able to go so she could show off her amazing little angel costume. You know, be the belle of the ball. She's had a rough week or two at school with a couple of bullies (well, sort of bullies; I'm calling them that because, well, they're making it tough for my little girl, dog-gone-it.). So, I wanted her to go, and be the star of the show. I know, vain, or ridiculous, or over-protective or something. Just keepin' it real.

So there's no post of her at school, but she did have a great day today. She was feeling much better, and her funnest daddy in the whole world made up for her lack of school party yesterday.
Jack took the kids over to pick up Maryam for the day and on the way home they found three pumpkins. One for each of them to carve.

Maddie was excited that she was old enough this year to be able to actually do the carving. With a knife. Yikes. And Maryam did a great job at pulling out all the goop from her pumpkin. This was all new to her, so I have no idea what was really going through her head, but she seemed to love it. And she got the inside of that pumpkin cleaner than our kitchen floor on a great day.

And then there was Jackson. Our sweet little non-messy Jackson. He HATED the mess. HATED.IT.

If you look closely at this next picture, you can see him holding his mouth, trying not to gag. Hilarious. And here are a few others where he's totally grossed out. Honestly, I've never seen anything like this. He truly wanted NO part "scoopin the goop." Very funny. And here's the finished product. We stopped by a local church for their Halloween Festival. More candy. And amazing face painting. And also swung by Maddie's old school to see her friends and take part in their trunk-or-treat.

And then Aunt Bec and Auntie Joy Joy arrived to go trick-or-treating in our neighbourhood.

You should have seen Maryam. She's never done this before. (They arrived in November last year, and they don't do Halloween in Iraq.) She followed for the first two houses and then after that, she RACED from door-to-door. I mean, she caught on FAST.

What a great day. Jack wins daddy of the day award. I see him and I just think, "FUN." The kids love him. He makes little things exciting. He's just a FUN guy. Which translates to a FUN daddy.

And now, I'm going to sleep on the couch, near the kids' bedrooms, because Halloween night creeps me out. And I want to make sure they're safe. I know. Ridiculous. But still. They're my babies and especially tonight (and Halloween Eve night, too, if you must know) I'll sacrifice a good sleep, just to be near.

Line Leader

What a GREAT day to be the line leader. Just so happened it coincided with the Halloween Parade in the big school.

Jackson led with pride. I saw him way down the hall and he just tooled along, turning, waving at people.

And then he saw me.

Oh, I loved that. I wasn't sure what he'd do when he saw me - he's a Mama's boy, so I thought he might make a mad dash out of line toward me. And when he first saw me, I think that was what was going through his little head, but he held his composure and continued to lead the line, just smiling so big, right in my general direction.

Here he is, pointing and saying, "Those are my preschool friends, Mommy."

And here's his little buddy Triston.

Remember him? His 'new best friend in the whole world.' And they say that every day! He was the cutest little mail carrier I ever did see. Oh mercy!

And on the way to the car, after the parade, they found great delight in walking under the umbrella. Surprisingly, they didn't run into anything, nor did they trip and fall. I couldn't see their faces, but heard their fun giggles the entire way!

And She Doubts Me

Maddie was in hysterics the other day when she found a rip in her angel Halloween costume. There was wailing and gnashing of teeth. LOUD wailing and gnashing of teeth. I believe she said it could NEVER be fixed. NEVER. NEVER.

Enter moi.

Me: "Hunny, what's going on? Why are you so upset?"

First born: "My angel costume is RUINED. Look at this rip."

Me: "Oh, hunny. I can fix that. It's no big deal."

First born: "Since when can YOU sew? You can't fix that. ONLY GOBBIE CAN." {Gobbie is my mother.}

Me, silently inside this head of mine: "Oh watch out little punk. I can sew. You'll be eating your words by Halloween morn."

Me, the nice mother that I am, holding my tongue: "Oh, hunny. I promise I can fix it. Don't worry. You won't even know there was ever a rip in it when I'm done sewing." {At which point I began to sweat because I really wasn't too confident that I could make it so that the rip would not be noticeable.}

So tonight, I got out the needle and thread. Finally got the stupid thread through the tiny little hole. Did the knot thing at the end. Pricked my finger. And began 'sewing.' I use the term loosely.

And voila, looks great doesn't it! You can't even tell where the rip once stood. So there!

When she awakes in the morning, all will be well with the world. And I might just be one step closer to Gobbie's pedestal.

Lipstick.

Someone got into Mama's purse ...

... when Mama wasn't lookin'.

Rest in the Rock

This church, Queen of All Saints, seems as if it belongs straight out of a story-book set in England. It just so happens to be on the route to Maddie's school. And for that, I'm so grateful.


{As an aside, my friend Sara got married here. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? It's like the longest center isle you could possibly imagine. Perfect for a fairy-tale wedding. I wish I would have known her then because I can't even picture how BEAUTIFUL a wedding would be in that church!}

Every morning when I see it, I'm compelled to pray. For Kim. For my other friends who are hurting and struggling right now.

Through the past six weeks, I have found myself drawn to the beauty of this church. I have needed the solace it offers. With the deep sadness of John's suicide has come the need for solitude. Reflection. Quiet. Beauty. Wondering. Prayer.

Somehow, I think the stone used in this church has drawn me in. Symbolic of the bedrock of my faith - Jesus Christ - during this season of deep sadness. Like the stone used to build this church so long ago, Jesus is Solid. Un-wavering. Safe. I need Him.

I grew up in a denomination that placed no value on aesthetics, but I have to say, the beauty of an old Catholic church does add tremendously to the worship experience. There is something beautiful, and I'm sure comforting to those who grew up in that tradition, to experience liturgy in worship. I have found that the quiet, coupled with the rich physical beauty of the Catholic Church have been comforting and a place where I have met my Saviour over the last few weeks, on ordinary mornings when I just needed to stop and say, "Lord, the sadness is too deep to do without you. Would you show up and Comfort?"

And I think that He delights in showing up when we ask Him to do so. {And quite frankly, He shows up whether we ask Him to or not, but it's especially cool when we take the time to actually ask for His help. I think He gets a kick out of that.}


One particular morning, a few weeks ago, I opened to Psalm 62. This one has been particularly meaningful to me through the years, especially upon my return to America in July of 1999, after living in Indonesia for 3 years. I've had these verses underlined and circled for a decade.

But this past month, the verses have once again spoken to that deep place in my heart. That longing for His strength when I feel weak. For the Rest that He offers. For the ROCK that He is. I pray these verses over Kim and her children very regularly. And myself. And Jack. And also for those friends of mine, who in the last few weeks, find themselves carrying heavy, heavy burdens.
If you're struggling today, or if you simply need a reminder of who God is, take out your Bible, flip to the middle and find Psalm 62. And drink it in.

Rest in the Rock.