Dream Trip

If I had to put into words what our trip to Cozumel, Mexico meant to me this year, I'd have to say that it was FREEDOM. Surprisingly, not necessarily a freedom from being a mommy for a week, although I must admit that was a nice little side benefit. I mean, who are we kidding? But really, it honestly was not about that type of freedom at all.

It was about:

a)freedom to be me and who God designed me to be.

He made me with this insatiable desire to explore and do local and love adventure and ride on a motorcycle with the wind blowing on my face and through my hair - with my Jack man by my side. He tells me this is one of the reasons he fell in love with me. That's sweet, now isn't it? And here I thought, "No guy will ever like me because I'd rather be out climbing a mountain than making a meal."

God made me to love sitting on the top of a boat just watching the landscape meander by.

HE made me like that and I think HE finds pleasure when we take time to enjoy the things HE wired us up to enjoy.

HE wired me up to simply LONG for His beautiful creation. I really don't think I can put into words the feelings that sweep over me when I walk off the plane and the tropical heat slaps me in the face and the palm leaves wave hello. And then, the first glimpse of the teal-blue ocean.  

Takes my breath away. 

Every.single.time.

And then you throw into the mix the ocean life that we saw and I'm left in awe of my Maker's incredible creativity. I mean, come on. Some of the colour and pattern combinations of these fish He created. Seriously, I think He was laughing His silly head off up in Heaven when He said, 

"Okay guys, check this out. I'm gonna put little dots with fluorescent circles around them, and then throw a little purple stripe and electric blue zig-zag onto their spines, oh, and maybe a splash of yellow whimsy, oh, and then I'm gonna make this little fishy's lips SUPER puffy with a rim of white lip-liner. Oh, and let's set his fins way toward the back of his body so that he looks like he's just a wee little bit tipsy. AND IT WAS GOOD. That's what He said." Here's just one of the tonnes of super creative fish we saw: http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/fish/parrot-fish/  (National Geographic photo)

b) a mental freedom to not always be multi-tasking and list-making and one-step-aheading of everything.

While there, I could think and dream or lay there and not think while I sipped my ice tea and looked at this incredible view.

I could sit and listen to the waves crashing and my mind never went to "Oh wait, I have to get up and get the meat out of the freezer for the next meal and I was going to switch the load of laundry from the washer to the dryer and I need to quick return that one (or ten) phone call."

I could simply BE. And for a highly task-oriented, driven, "over" gal such as myself, I don't take enough time to simply BE. I am always, always on the go. And 90% of the time I'm completely fine living in a multi-tasking world. But on this trip, I learned that maybe I need some balance in my life which would include sitting and being and not doing. Even for 1/2 an hour each evening. {I'll let you know how that goes - old dogs have a hard time learnin' new tricks. Or so they tell me.}

c) freedom to conquer some fears of scuba diving that transpired last year. When you're free of a particular fear, the freedom you experience is truly unbelievable.

When you scuba dive you have to be able to clear your mask way down deep, if it should get kicked off, or if it should get water in it ... and that skill has always terrified me. I did it when I was scuba certified back in 2001 but hated it and probably barely passed that section of the test. Makes me panic and hyperventilate to just think about it.

And the fear of going way down deep diving has terrified me. There has been this scary part that says if you go down too deep, you might be just out of reach of flying to the surface in an emergency. And yet this year, I was freed from those fears. I am FREE to explore the underworld and loved it.

I dove 8 times and I'm very proud of myself; that I didn't let my fears get in the way of seeing some of the most incredible things I have ever seen. One particular dive I made it down to 95 feet and I threw caution to the wind waves and let my depth gauge lead me down to 100. As in one hundred feet below the water's surface. Creepy. Cool. And I did it just to say I had hit the triple digit under-world so that next time I would have confidence to try again. I think I caught myself doing a happy dance after that accomplishment.

And the whole mask thing. I took a refresher course Monday morning with Alfonso and when we got to the part where he said, "And one of the skills we'll practice when we go on our dive will be the clearing your mask skill" Ya, when we got to that part, I burst into tears. Such a loser.

Fear, be gone. 

Freedom to dive in confidence. 

It felt INCREDIBLE.

d) freedom to capture stories that moved me. I captured plenty of stories on 'film.' But I was also able to capture the story of a guy we'll call Kit. He opened up to Jack and I with just a few minutes before our boat docked after our morning dives together. His story moved me to tears. Jack cried too, so it wasn't just me being a cry-baby. We both sort of gasped. Instantly. As he shared his recent story of deep tragedy. {I'm going to blog about this guy in the coming days because after my interaction with him I left saying to myself and to Jack, "I wish we could have heard more of his story. And I wish I would have shared this thought with him. And I wish I could remove the pain and tragedy in his life."}

And so I came home feeling filled up. I sometimes wonder what the key is to feeling this way year-round, even when I'm not in a tropical location? Because I know that the feeling filled up thing isn't just about your external circumstances. I know a big piece of it is finding God in my daily life here. Intentionally looking for His fingerprints goes a long, long way to feeling freedom. Feeling filled right up to the brim. Consistently.

So that was the longer version of the answer to the question, "How was your trip?"

I'll leave you with a just a few pictures ... more coming for sure, but for now, just a taste of Cozumel through my lens

and my heart.

Still taken by the colour of the Island of Cozumel. Always drawn to vibrant, over-saturation, which IS the essence of this island.

Never seen these flowers before - fell in love with them.

Somehow, Jack talked me into holding "Iggy" on the side of the road. Our little stop to see this creature brought us an afternoon of local fun with a family that invited us to have a picnic with them on the ocean beach. One of our vacation highlights. {It deserves a post unto its own.}

Self-portrait with the point-and-shoot at El Moro restaurant.

Jack coming back from one of his 11 dives. As always, he's making friends with whomever he's with, making them laugh. I love that boy.

Happened upon this little snippet of colour. Nature's beauty and a teal building - can't beat that combo.

So much more to share. Stay tuned for more stories.

Cozumel Self-Portrait

As I wandered the colourful streets of Cozumel, Mexico, I stumbled across this little fence complete with mirror.

Curious.

Decided I needed a new self-portrait. 

I loved the rickety red shack in the background. 

Perfect.

Many more "Cozumel" posts to come. Jack and I had an amazing week-long vacation in the colourful land of Cozumel. 

Seriously colourful in so many ways. 

Can't wait to share more ...

Green Adidas

This true story took place in late August, this summer.

I didn't head downtown thinking we'd find him.

We loaded up the car with the jogger and a scooter and found our way to Oak and Michigan. One quarter for seven minutes of parking. Ridiculous. But, what's four bucks for a little sanity check.

It wasn't hard to spot him. He really didn't fit in on Michigan Avenue. "The Mag Mile." While most were weighed down with Gucci, Bloomingdale and Tiffany bags, his was a tattered backpack. While most were well coiffed, he was, shall we say, a whole lot of messy.

Wandering on a week day downtown affords the luxury of less crowds, which means you can see at a distance. Maddie and I spotted him at the same time. His gait was slow. His head hung low and it seemed that it took every ounce of effort for him to shuffle along. It was the shuffle that caught our attention. Every step seemed painful. And then again at the same time we spotted his feet. Rather than shoes, he had cut-out cardboard with strings holding the cardboard where shoes would normally be.

It was hard not to stare, and because he wasn't looking our way, we actually could stare. Slyly of course. Both feet were gnarled, with toes oozing and bleeding and overlapping. {Remember how I wish I were a nurse but could never be a nurse because I can't do bodily fluids. You can imagine how I instantly wanted to vomit.}

We slowly passed and this is what transpired next.

Maddie {in complete sadness}: "Mom, we have to go buy him shoes. Did you see his feet? His sign says he needs shoes. Why doesn't he have shoes? We have to get him shoes. We just have to. We have the money. PLEASE MOM?"

Me {also in complete sadness}: "Well, honey, I don't know. That's so sweet of you to think of that. But I don't know what size his feet are. And I don't know where we'd even go to get shoes around here."

Maddie {irritated}: "Mom, we can ask him what size his feet are. There has to be a shoe store around here. There are LOTS of stores! They're everywhere."

Me {still sad}: "Maddie, it just isn't gonna work. If we did figure out what size his feet are, every store around here is SOOOOO expensive. We're in one of the most expensive shopping areas in the country."

Maddie {frustrated}: "Mom, if I needed shoes you'd buy me a pair. He needs shoes. Why can't we buy him a pair? God wants us to take care of people that need help - that's what the Bible says. We could help him. We have the money. Why wouldn't we help him?"

Me {reluctant but realizing that I need to walk my talk}: "Hmmmm. You're right, Maddie. God has given us more money than we need. We should share. We should take care of those that can't care for themselves. You're right. Long pause. Let's go buy him some shoes." {and inside I'm thinking to myself, "Oh crap. There is no Payless for miles on end. What is this little lesson gonna cost?"}

Maddie {ecstatic}: "Oh, thank you Mom. THANK YOU. You know he needs them. It's not that he just wants shoes, he needs them."

Me: "Let's walk slowly by him and I'll look down and get an idea for how big his feet are and then we'll walk across the street to Macy's."

And so I was shown what it means to have a compassionate heart by a nine-year-old. Again. 

She knew the right thing to do. 

She knew what our Bible teaches we should do for those that are less fortunate. She knew that the reality is that money wasn't really an issue for us. 

She pushed. 

For what was right. 

She advocated. 

For him.

We caught up with him, I figured out that his foot looked awfully close to the size of Jack's, and we crossed over Michigan Avenue, up the big fancy escalator to the mens' shoe department. We settled on these shoes.

Because of the extensive damage to his feet, I knew it had to be something that would be slip on and expandable. We paid and I could hardly keep up with Maddie as she raced through the store, anxious to get back to street level to find him. She was so nervous that he would be gone before we got back.

We didn't have to look far because, well, he couldn't walk quickly, so by the time we got to him he was outside the Water Tower.

Maddie turned shy and wanted me to give him the shoes but I felt like she needed to be the one to do that. They were a gift from her heart, and had she not been determined, we wouldn't be there in the first place. She put me to shame. We followed close behind him for a bit until she finally took a couple quick steps and came up right beside him and said, "Hi sir, we bought these for you. We saw your sign asking for shoes."

He stopped and took them in his hands and said, "Oh, that is so kind of you. But my feet need very special shoes because of how they are hurt." He handed back the shoes to Maddie and I instantly felt deeply saddened for her. She had tried SO hard to help. And here he was, not taking her help.

It's as if he sensed Maddie's disappointment because he followed that up with, "But thank you so much for trying. Most people would never even try. That means a lot to me that you would do that for me."

{I might add that during our interchange up until this point he had not really looked at us. But as he said his name he looked up.} I stuck out my hand and said, "Martin, it is really nice to meet you. This is my daughter Maddie, and my son Jackson, and my name is Alysa. I am so sorry the shoes my daughter bought didn't work out." Again, he graciously said it meant so much to him that we would even try to help him. He was visibly touched.

I asked how his feet were injured and he said in Afghanistan, in the war. I immediately stuck my hand out again and said, "Thank you for serving our country so that my children could enjoy freedom." And both my kids shook his hand and said thank you. {That's a big deal in our family. You go out of your way to thank a veteran for their services. Always.}

And without skipping a beat he said, "Oh, ma'am, I would go again tomorrow. I was very proud to serve my country."

I glance down and saw the price he paid.

We have taught our children that when we are with people that are less fortunate than us, we look them in the eye, we always treat them with dignity and respect, we listen, we ask good questions, we show care. Always. And the kids did just that.

We said our goodbyes to Martin and turned and walked away.

Quietly. Wishing the shoes would have worked.

Months later, Maddie still asks about Martin, wondering if we can go try to find him. Since she continues to be on his heart, I've decided that we will at least go looking for him, during one of the kids' random days off of school in the next couple of weeks.

And this time, if we find him, we'll ask if he'd like to go out for coffee or lunch. Or if he'd want to go to Breakthrough. We'll ask him to share more of his story, because everybody has a story to tell. And I believe that deep down everyone wants to be able to share their story with people who are interested enough to listen and engage.

I have been praying that we would find him again. That somehow, Maddie's persistence will show him that somebody noticed him. That somebody cared. That somebody tried.

That somebody being a nine-year-old girl, on a hot summer's day, in the middle of Chicago offering a sweet gift of a pair of green Adidas.

The lessons I learn from that girl.

Some Days ...

Some days, a girl just has to dream ...

Under three weeks until we're tooling around on Big Red.

With Tupperware bowl helmets on our heads.

And wind in our hair.

And the ocean spray at our side. 

And delicious food in our tums. 

And adventure after adventure within our reach.

Please don't hate me.

{I promise to keep these types of post to a minimum so as not to lose all my friends.}

My Little Entrepreneur

Dog walking is the latest in a lengthy string of entrepreneurial ventures for Maddie.  
This girl has it.

She desperately wants a dog.
Desperately!
So back this fall {mid-October} she decided that since we've been pretty clear that we're not up for a family dog at this point in our parenting careers, she could maybe walk other folks' dogs to a) get her dog fix, her picking-up-poop fix, and her dog-hair-all-over-her-clothing fix OH, and b) earn money for horse riding lessons.

We made up a flyer together which had the following details:

* My name is Maddie *

*I am 9 years old *

*I am very responsible *

*I LOVE dogs and wish I had my own *

* But since I don’t, I’d love to walk yours *

*Anytime after 3pm *

* $1.00 per walk *

She handed out flyers up and down both sides of our street.
She had extras in the car and any time we were near our home and she saw someone out walking a dog she begged me to stop and she would jump out and hand them a flyer.
She has been so persistent and that makes us proud.

But her spirits have been down. No one has called. Most politely declined and as a result she has been so very sad. While people have been very kind in listening to her schpeel as she hands them a flyer, no one has taken her up on her offer.

Until Mr. Greg. Just two weeks ago we were within a couple blocks from home and Maddie spotted him. A cute little white dog. And as is usual, she begged for me to pull over so she could jump out and ask the man if she could walk his dog.

I pulled into the garage and Maddie came bounding up the steps a few minutes later.

"His name is Mr. Greg and he said he would call to talk to you or Daddy about possibly walking his dog Max."

And he called. Within a few minutes.

He's such a nice man. Max is his baby. He loves his Max but was willing to see if Maddie was trustworthy with his precious dog.

So the first time he went with us, letting Maddie hold the leash. And right from the start Maddie did a super great job and after that first walk Mr. Greg wanted to know when she could come back.

We've come to love little Max and thoroughly enjoy Mr. Greg. And you know me, I'm not a huge fan of the canine, but little Max has weaseled his cute little chubby behind into my heart. I like going with Maddie to walk him and thankfully we've had the mildest Chicago winter that I can remember. It gives she and I a chance to chat about her day, connecting without our little buddy {aka Jackson} in tow. {Our little buddy stays behind with Jack.}

Here's Max in all his adorable-ness.

Little Max loves him a good tree.  
Every.tree.we.pass.
ALL of them.
It's, shall we say, a leisurely walk.

When we first started this gig, Max would not run to save his life. But now, he jiggles alongside Maddie, working his hardest to keep up with her, waddling his cute behind all the while.
I so love seeing them run along together. Makes me smile.

After every road we cross, Max knows that he gets a little petting time.

And snuggling time, too. 
I know, I know, you're all thinking, "GET THAT GIRL A DOG!"

{Did you see the dog hair on her sweatshirt above? 
I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.}

The sunshine was delicious this particular day!

We love his one-ear-up-one-ear-down. LOVE.

Sweet little Max.

And so, our daily routine now includes walking Max. He is crazy about Maddie and just today Mr. Greg said that if anything ever happened to him, he would want Maddie to have Max.

That's a pretty high compliment coming from Mr. Greg.
Made Maddie feel pretty great!

An Hour Together {Family Photography}

So this family is something special.

They're fun. They're beautiful. They love each other. And we rocked great weather late November. She called, I had one slot left, it happened to fit into her schedule. Her husband had the day off work. The kids were out of school. The ominous weather literally lifted as I was driving to meet them. The sun broke through. It was meant to be. 

You can't imagine how it was meant to be.

We got some incredible shots as you'll see. I love my clients. And I LOVE what I do. I think there is rich value in catching a moment in time, an hour in time, in the life of a family. Or an individual. You can't ever have that hour back but you CAN see it. Forever. Bridget tells me they have huge canvas prints of our hour together all over their house and jokes that they have their own little shrine! I LOVE THAT.

Fast forward to the second week of January. Just 7 weeks after our photo shoot. Just a couple weeks ago.

Bridget writes:

"I went in with the worst headache ever. The ER doc thought I had an aneurysm. They did an MRI that indeed spotted an aneurysm. They did a CT to double check. That, too showed an aneurysm. We met with the specialist for over 2 hours going over every possibility. Never ONCE was it mentioned that it might be nothing at all. It was a sobering, horrifying appointment, and he is THE aneurysm expert.

"They said I'd need surgery, but when the surgeons got to me, they said it was small enough that I could wait. I went to see an aneurysm specialist who said I needed surgery, and I'd have a 1/20 chance of having a stroke during the surgery. Could be a minor stroke, or a major debilitating stroke. He said that I could choose to either have the surgery right away or have an angiogram to make the best surgical plan. I chose to have the angiogram, which gives a view of the aneurysm from every angle. This test showed that it was not an aneurysm, but an infundibulum, which is completely benign, and not in need of surgical intervention at all.

"The story is even crazier because I was pointing exactly to the spot where the "aneurysm" was when showing the doctors where my pain was located. The headaches have gone away, and I feel so blessed to have received so many prayers and a breathtaking amount of support in what was easily the most insane week of my entire life. Thank God I didn't choose to just have the surgery, right? I still can't process all of it. I am so glad that the headaches went away, and we are all doing well! I don't know what else to think about my experience besides GOD IS GOOD."

A couple of days ago I ran into sweet Bridget and her brave husband, Dave, and gave her the biggest hug. She was alive and well. And standing right in front of me. Amazing.

Anyway, you know what she said to me the minute we hugged?

"Alysa, the minute the doctor told me I was going in for surgery and that Dave was to go get the kids and bring them to the hospital, I thought, "Thank God I had my family pictures taken last month. At least they will have those."

Crazy how our brain works in the midst of panic, and yet the reality is, had she not pulled through, her children would have at the very least, had very current pictures of their stunningly beautiful mother. Hugging each of them. Loving on them. There would have been NO doubt that their mother was crazy in love with each of them.

She was SO grateful for the current photos they had of their family. Together.  

All five of them.

Aren't you glad this story has a happy ending? I sure am. I'm not gonna lie. I cried the whole time I typed this post and read her emails.

Here's just a very little taste of our time together the day before Thanksgiving, 2011.

And so, I do love a story that ends happily-ever-after. 

And I do love Bridget's big heart for her adorable family. 

May they have many more decades together.

Love. Through thick and thin.

{There are a few other photos over on my Water Street Dreams Facebook page. Look under "M" family in the photos section. If you like what you see I'd love it if you 'liked' my page.}

Dance Like No One Is Looking {WW}

This is one of those posts that I hesitate to write. Not because I don't want to share it, but simply because I really don't want this to be a "look at me" thing. And yet I'm excited to share, too, because I've been working really, really hard. And so I share. Hopefully to encourage others. To motivate. To offer up hope from a fellow struggler.

Today I hit the 25 pounds LOST marker. 

Right on the dot. 

It feels SO hopeful to already be at 25 pounds lost and it's only January. Bathing suit season is still several months away.  

OH HAPPY DAY.

I still have a bunch to lose, but I'm not focusing on that today. 

I'm focusing on the every-day journey I've taken over the past 3 months. Through Thanksgiving, through the Christmas season and all its parties. Through New Year's Eve.

It took one day piled onto another day piled onto another day of good choices that got me to this point.

And as I've said before, if I can do this, 

YOU CAN TOO. 

I PROMISE. 

I'M SO SERIOUS AND SO HOPEFUL FOR YOU.

And your struggle might not be a weight journey. It might be a journey of changing other bad habits in your life. Or of changing your attitude or how you relate to someone in your life.

But whatever your struggle, I just know you can do it.

In my Weight Watchers meeting this morning I was asked to share a bit about how I've had this 25 pound loss. I shared how I really do believe the program works. It's do-able. It's sustainable. It makes you change your lifestyle and how you view food. I'm not starving myself. I'm not depriving myself. Over the past 3 months I have had everything that I love to eat. In moderation. I love that Weight Watchers does NOT say that you'll never be able to eat pizza again. Or French fries. Or chocolate chip cookies. It does say that if you eat it, you count for it. You track it and you eat it in moderation.

I find that I have been planning ahead each day so that I'm not just putting mindless calories/food into my body. I bring snacks with me instead of all of a sudden feeling like I'm famished and racing through the closest drive-through because I must.eat.now.

I've been very purposeful about exercising. A lot. I go to the gym regularly. I lift weights. I row. I use machines. I wear a pedometer that tracks the miles I walk each day and I have LOVED that motivation. I'm sure it isn't for everybody, but it is for me. LOVE that tool.

And as always, after I was driving away from the meeting I got to thinking, "Oh, I wish I would have shared this or that." 

I wish I would have shared that I have had INCREDIBLE support from my family and friends through this journey. They think I can do this. And when I'm with them they make healthy food options available so that I have options to eat. They want me to succeed and they're helping me to succeed by not putting huge temptations in front of me. They order salad, too, when we go out to eat. That's huge because if someone else has fries, I WANT FRIES.

I also really wanted to share, but refrained, that I think a huge piece of this weight loss journey for me has been God showing up. People are praying for me. I'm praying for myself. And I believe that God answers prayers. I really believe that with all my heart.

And so, with 25 pounds off my body I might just go turn up the music and dance a little jig in my living room, because, well, the jiggling will be 25 pounds less. Which is a really good thing. And no one is around and they say that we're supposed to dance like no one is looking. 

So if you drive by my house and see a crazy person dancing around like a maniac, you'll know who it is.  

Just nod and keep driving.

2012 Off To a Great Start {Chicago family photographer}

This little family is delightful.

I'm telling you, Mom Katie has been SUCH a great client. From a maternity shoot to a newborn session to a Fall Mini Session, she keeps comin' back! And that makes  a photographer feel really great. She has also sent more business my way this past year than any other client. And so, as a "Thank you" to her, this session was on me! Thrilled to give back to such a lovely family.

Little "P" was 6 months old a few weeks ago, so we did a few portraits of him. Talk about a 'chunk-o-love' ... Seriously, you just wanna squeeze his happy little face.

Okay little man, you SLAY me. Seriously, this should be blown up to as big-as-possible. He is SO CUTE!

So here's a little hilarious blooper on MY part. {Something that won't happen again.} I guess we all make professional blunders from time-to-time.

So photo shoots in the winter with little wee ones are a bit tricky in Chicago, so I was on the hunt for a great indoor option with great lighting. And, I found it. I checked it out ahead of time. Seemed great. It was huge with lots of cool colors and textures in the furniture. Great lines. Great potential. Modern but warm. It really was the coolest place.

Ready, set, go.  

So Katie, her mom and the kids met me there. And, we all know how painstaking it is to actually get kids out the door and bundled up in the winter. So there we were, taking our photos, and Mr. Security Guard comes up and asks what we're doing and I tell him and he's like, "Oh, you can't take pictures here. Professional photographers are not allowed."

"What? Seriously?" It truly never even crossed my mind to ask about taking photos in a huge convention center/hotel. {Now that I think about it, it probably should have but I spaced I guess.} I mean, people are always taking photos in that setting, right? I certainly would have thought to ask in other venues, without a doubt. But this setting, was truly just off my radar. It's like saying you can't take pics at Disney World. What?

And so, I apologized profusely, tucked my tail between my legs and we quickly came up with Plan B. Over to their house. A great option, but I was so disappointed to not shoot at the hotel.

Live and learn I suppose. And again, just so grateful that Katie was gracious about my mistake.  So note to self, always, always, always ask if it's okay to take photos. No matter what the venue. Even at Disney World. Just do it.

Lesson learned.

And here's Big Sister Sweet "C" who turned four this January. Perfect. She is a bundle of energy and I know she is destined for great things. She is big on Fancy Nancy and loves her little brother! Oh, and she's beautiful!

Well, HELLO Miss Personality.

And the last few minutes we headed outdoors. Love the bright colors, Katie! Great choice.

Your "C" girl is beautiful!

And Little Man, stop the cuteness!

2012 is off to a perfect start!